Sea & Islands Post 6

Island 2

The Ends Can Never Justify The Means

The Risk Taking God & the Safety Seeking Church

Incarnation is an example of the level of risk that God is calling the church to adopt

At the beginning of my time in ministry I was called upon to officiate at the funeral of a seventeen year old young man who had tragically died suddenly, leaving his family shocked and deeply saddened.

I had received a small amount of training on how to prepare and deliver a service for a family at such a difficult time. In truth I was in a mild panic at the thought of possibly making a mess of things. I contacted our local Methodist minister, Arthur Windridge. He was a good man who had delivered many funerals and was very eager to help me in my time of need. He kindly went over the basics for me and gave me some invaluable advice that has stuck with me ever since.

'Feel their pain' he said 'but make sure that you remain useful to them'. Not an easy balance to find. He added that in his experience the line between laughter and tears is very thin at these times as the family tell stories one moment and then feel the pain of the loss in the next.

Arthur encouraged me to empathise with this family; to be fully human. Then to trust that God would meet with them. At the time I am not sure if I was fully aware of the depth of his words, but I knew instinctively that he had a level of wisdom that I needed.

The American Psychologist, Brené Brown (9), speaks about empathy in her Tedtalk describing the difference to be found between this and a sympathetic response. In Brené's view being empathic does not start with the words 'Well, at least'.

To a parent whose son is struggling at school it won't do to say 'Well, at least your daughter is doing well'. Saying to wishful parents who have just experienced the pain of a miscarriage 'well at least you know you can conceive', is not showing empathy. Empathy does not seek to fix the problem as much as it looks to feel the pain; sometimes in silence.

In the years since my early lesson with Arthur I have tried to grow in understanding his wise words. I will always be grateful to his kindness towards me; I suspect he was helpful because he empathised with a new minister.

In addition to ministry I have the privilege of delivering training sessions for managers in industry, education, and the health service. Most requests for training are driven by a functional need within an individual or organisation. In essence sessions are often booked because companies want me to show them 'how to' be more successful, efficient, or time effective. In my experience the 'functional' need is very rarely the problem. It is more likely to be that staff need support with softer skills or that there may be an issue with the organisation's culture.

Most delegates benefit from being challenged to think in broader terms and to expand their emotional intelligence. This doesn't always sell as well as the more functionally sounding sessions because business leaders don't see it as essentially practical. The development, however, of a team's ability to empathise with others is an extremely effective, and indeed practical, tool in delivering some of the functional aims that organisations have.

This often seems counter-intuitive; similar to the idea of producing a forest garden in a culture that prides itself on Victorian influenced horticulture.

In the context of church I would suggest that the development of a forest garden needs to be seen as the kind of emotional intelligence that allows us to see things that we just haven't noticed before.

As we begin our journey as gardeners, I think it is worth noting the post-resurrection scene in the garden of Gethsemane as recorded in the gospel of John. Through tears, a grieving Mary mistakenly identifies the risen Jesus as a gardener (10).

In and of itself this may seem an incidental event that does not need much further thought. In addition to the counter-cultural inclusion of a woman in this part of the narrative, I cannot help but see a reflection of the idea of hiddenness repeated time and again the in the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus.

Indeed if he had wanted to be known to the majority of the inhabitants of the earth it would have been more fruitful to have staged the incarnation in today's world of social media. Someone would probably have taken a selfie at the sermon on the mount and it would have become viral with hours.

Notwithstanding the fame of Christ in the centuries that followed, it is true to say that in many respects Jesus was just another child born in obscurity; just another carpenter’s son; just another carpenter; just another rabbi; and just another troublemaker on a cross.

In historical terms God chose the anonymity of a hidden place at a hidden time to reveal his glory